Rain pounded the cobbled streets, lightning cracked in the sky, as wind whistled 
through the trees. A small, cloaked figure dashed, fighting the wind as he went,
carrying a huge bundle over his shoulder. Spotting a nearby tavern, the Serrated
Arrow, he quickly hustled over and into it. The tavern was mostly empty, its
regulars having gone home for the night, and the bartender was about to close up
shop. The bartender glanced over at the entering figure and the woman he had
been carrying on his shoulder for quite some time. The bartender spoke, "Hey
dwarf! What happened to your friend there?"

The dwarf replied angrily in a low, raspy voice, "Attacked by brigands out in
tha' middle of town." The dwarf wore scaled armor and a thick green cloak over
it. His black beard covered most of his face, and he wore a skull cap, a simple
round helmet.  A hand axe hung at his side, and he was carrying a quarterstaff,
probably belonging to his downed friend.

"Damn, sounds like another typical mugging. We get too many of them out here."
The dwarf laid his female friend out on a table as the bartender came over. He
looked over her slender figure and noticed her pointed ears, indicating she was
an elf. She wore no armor, but the robes she wore were covered in small pockets,
probably filled with spell components, meaning she was a magic-user of some
sort. The bartender noticed her wound, a slash across her torso, had already
been bandaged, "Looks like what could be done right now has already been done.
Let's get her up to a room upstairs."

                              *****

                         Of Dice and Dens

	           An ImproFanfic by Stephen Kalb

              Session One: Death Happens: Live with it.

                              *****

A teenage girl sat at a generic grey table with her friends, pouting cutely. Her
long blonde hair hung down below her shoulders onto her dark green sweatshirt,
and she spoke with a matured voice, "Bah, I always spend more time unconscious
than conscious."

"Then maybe you shouldn't play elven sorceresses all the time, Kate." A boy,
possibly a few years older, had a calm demeanor surrounding him. He had combed
brown hair and brown eyes, which, through a pair of round glasses, glanced over
at the paper he had before returning to Kate. He wore a blue dress shirt and
khakis. He wasn't wearing a tie now, but it would fit right in.

"What do you expect I do, then, Scott?" Kate glared over the folded piece of
paper separating them.

"Be like me! Play a half-orc barb!" Exclaimed another who was sitting at the
table, his chubby face showing a wide grin, with spiky red hair topping it. The
t-shirt he wore bore a yellow frowning face, with X's for eyes and a bullet hole
in its forehead, with the word "0verclocked" written in red and black. "By the
way, when does mine get there?"

Kate facepalmed while Scott barely glanced at his notes, "Eight days on foot,
'Dam. You're the last to get to Udaho. Josh gets there in five, and Kate here
just got bedded for a week, leaving Ton here if Brotter is going to leave her
side." Scott nodded towards each.

"Ton" was wearing a t-shirt which proudly displayed "3vil l33t" in big black
letters. He had a crew cut of his brown hair, and a pierced eyebrow with a
simple ring with a green bead on it. He was idly rolling a twenty sided die.

Josh wore a tye-dye t-shirt and a necklace with a peace sign on it. He had
dyed orange hair, and blue eyes. He put his feet up on the table and leaned
back in his chair.

Scott turned his attention back towards Kate and Tony, "Unless you two are
paying for magically healing Felosial there." indicating the sheet of paper held
by Kate, with stats for her character written on them.

Kate lifted her head up, "Heck no, no money."

Scott nodded, "Alright then, an uneventful night for the rest of you, But..."
Scott rolled a few dice behind his screen, "Morning brings something for both
our travelers! Joy. Now let's see here..." A few more die rolls... "Well.
Alright, let's do them both at one time so we can save time and get our inactive
friends doing something. Josh, You were going it alone, so you get two wolves
from Tony. 'Dam, you were travelling with a caravan through the plains, so you
get a whole pack of wolves."

Adam rubbed his hands together, "Blood. Yummy. It's been too long since I last
had some." Whether he was in character or not was unknown to the others.

Tony turned towards Josh, "Ka-click. Time to die, nerd-boy!" Scott handed a few
papers and some dice to Tony, who went with Josh to the other table in the
basement. Kate took the opportunity to pull out her book and read.

Scott turned towards Adam, "A'ight, 'Dam. To recap, you were a half-orc
barbarian playing bodyguard to a large caravan heading towards Udaho. You had
just broken camp and were about to head off when another fellow guard spotted
the pack of wolves. The women and children are atop the carts, and some have
taken up bow and arrow. The wolves number nearly two dozen to the left of the
caravan, fifty to seventy feet away. Most of your fellow bodyguards stand near
the caravan, ready to defend the caravan."

                              *****

Thokk stood with his fellow bodyguards, looking towards the rustling in the tall
grass ahead of them. Word of the wolf pack had reached only a minute ago, so
there was no time to properly don armor. Archers, standing atop the caravan's
carts, had picked off a couple of wolves at a distance, but it was too hard to
see the wolves. The tall grass ran right up against the road, meaning most of
the combat had to be done at close range. Thokk could care less for the
strategy, though: All he knew is that wolves were out there, and his axes wanted
some blood on them. He didn't have to wait long, though: Within seconds, his
axes already had the blood of two wolves which lay dead at his feet.

Quickly glancing around him, Thokk noticed his friends were faring far poorer
than he. The one closest to him had a wolf hanging off his shield and one
gnawing on his leg. Thokk let out a war cry and charged, and the two wolves fell
into the path of his axes. A sharp pain in his left arm told him there still
were some more wolves to be taken care of, though.

He brought his axe around, but the wolf had already dropped to the ground, dead
with an arrow in its side. A quick glance around told Thokk the wolves were all
dead, many with arrows in them as well. Thokk blinked, and looked at the archers
atop the caravan, who were shouting and pumping their arms in joy.

                              *****

Adam grumbled, "Dang killstealers."

Scott looked over his papers again before scribbling down something on his
everpresent notepad. He glanced over at Adam, "Well 'Dam, that's four kills for
you. How did you do?" Scott nodded towards the recently-returned Josh, who only
lowered his eyes to the floor before handing his character sheet to Scott.

Scott glanced at the paper, then at Josh, then at the paper again, then at Tony,
then at the piece of paper on top of the nearby pile of papers, which had the
stats for the average wolf printed on them, then back at the character sheet...
"So, uh, what happened? Do the dice just not like you today or did Ton boost the
monsters again?"

Tony sweatdropped, "Eheh. Yeah. I kinda, uh, thought that wolves should, uh, be 
a little more, uh, powerful. Eheh. I think I overdid it. Again."

"They win initiative, charge, trip me, and disembowel me all in two turns. The
dice certainly didn't help me at all." Josh added in. "At least they didn't do
it in one turn."

Scott sighed, "It happens. If you really want me to, I can retcon it-" Scott
noticed Josh shaking his head, "Alright then. You're dead, so how are you coming
back in?" Scott crumpled the paper and tossed it into the nearby trash basket in
a well-practiced motion.

Josh again shook his head, "Lemme think about it. I'll get back to you. In the
meanwhile, I'll play waiter for now. Who wants what?" Josh marvelled at the pile
of hastily written orders which accumulated in the middle of the table. Josh
glanced at the papers before leaving for the stairs in the corner of the room.

Scott turned back towards the group, dice in hand, "A'ight. 'Dam, your char
notices more trees as the caravan travels across the plains-turning forest
towards Udaho.

"'Trees.'" Adam said simply, in a voice much lower than normal. "Lot trees."

"Riiight. Anyway, The clouds have passed to the south, and the sky is now
clear."

"'I like trees.'" Adam stated for the record.

"Uh huh. The road doesn't look like it gets much traffic," Scott paused, "like
Thokk would really care about that."

"'Treeeees.'"

"Adam..."

"What?"

Kate sighed, "Nothing."

Tony chuckled, "Hey, don't knock the great role-playing!"

"Tree." Adam concurred.

Scott rolled his eyes briefly, "So, how are Brotter and Felosial doing? Ton,
Kate?" Scott looked at his notes before returning to Tony and Kate. "Um, this
might be a while. 'Dam, I don't have anything really planned for you tonight..."

"S'okay. I'll stay and watch." Adam paused, "Tree."

                               *****

Brotter sat in a chair by the bed as midday sunlight peaked through the window.
He still wore his armor, and his warhammer leaned against the wall. Felosial
slowly opened her eyes as she regained consciousness, "Ooow... What... Hit
me...?"

Brotter smiled, "Some rogues in tha' alley, remember?" Brotter frowned, and
smacked an open palm with his fist, "By Moradin's hammer, I'll get them back for
this." Brotter turned back to his companion, with some mild concern, "So, how're
ya feeling?"

Felosial frowned, sat up, and immediately regretted it, "..."

Brotter frowned, "You should still rest. I'll see what I can do about getting
you something to eat." And with that, he left her room and went downstairs to
the bar, where the bartender was getting ready to get ready for the day, "Thanks
again for letting us stay here for the night, but she needs to rest some more."

The bartender frowned, "Well, can ya pay? If I did this to everyone who came in
here half-dead, I'd be out of business."

Brotter checked his pouch, and came up with nothing, "Nay."

The bartender frowned, "Well, that's a problem then, isn't it?" The bartender
suddenly smiled, "Well, I do know someone who can help you earn your keep. Okay,
there's this guy running the smith 'cross the street. Says he needs some big
rats out of his house, and I should mention it to anyone who looks up to it."

Brotter stroked his beard, "Work, eh? I ought to check it out. Thanks again."
And with that he left to seek temporary employment with the smith.

                              *****

"Okay, you enter the smithy and see-"

"Food!" Adam exclaimed with joy. And indeed the food was here, as Josh lumbered
in, carrying a large tray borrowed from the kitchen upstairs, with all sorts
of snacks and soft drinks atop it. He set it down in the middle of the table,
and the tray was quickly cleared off as the players gathered their food. Josh
removed the lone drink from the now-empty tray and moved the tray over to the
other nearby table in the room to be returned to the kitchen sometime later.

"A'ight, thanks." Scott sipped at his own drink before continuing, "Anyway, the
dwarven smithy turns towards you and says, in Dwarven, 'Hey friend! You look
like you can help me! Do you have the time or inclination to help me with a
little rat infestation?'"

"'Always willing to help: The bartender across the street sent me.'"

"'Great! Some dire rats have gotten into the storage room: They haven't eaten
anything back there, but they won't let me in without a fight, and I can't
handle 'em by myself, but I think you can. Help yourself to anything in the room
for fighting the rats, though I want it back when yer done.' The weapons
scattered about the room are all of decent quality, of almost any type. The smith
mentions that the really high-quality stuff is in storage, but you can't have any
of it."

"I'll take a dwarven waraxe and wield it two-handed, so a shield is out of the
question. I'm already wearing scale mail, and it's all I really want in terms of
armor." Tony thought for a little bit, "Yeah, that's it. I'm... Going to ask how
many rats there are."

"'Maybe four, maybe five, maybe more. At least four, though.'"

"Mm.. Okay, now I'm going in."

"A'ight. Kate, you wanna handle this one while I figure out what I'm doing with
our other patiently waiting friends?" Kate nodded and was handed a piece of
paper with a map and some notes scribbled down on it. Kate and Tony took their
food and moved over to another table, leaving Scott to deal with the others,
"Hey Josh, figured out what your new char's gonna be?"

Josh looked up from the dice and character sheet, "Well, we have a fighter, a
barb, and a sorc, so I figure I'd round out the party with a halfling rogue
instead of my now-deceased priest."

Adam perked up from his nap long enough to say, "I like swords."

Tony, who's character had just taken a bite from the dire rats, exclaimed from
the nearby table, "Is there a white mage in the audience?"

Scott smiled as well, but focused on Josh, "Now that we have that ref out of the
way, Josh, have you made your character or are we going to have to roll for more
encounters?"

Josh shifted through his character sheets as Adam clutched his little figurine
protectively, "Uh, yeah. Here you go." Scott took the paper and glanced over it
before giving it back with a thumbs-up.

Scott quickly wrote things down on his notepad, "Alright, so, your background is
that you work as a freeload- er, freelancer, so you'll start in Udaho looking
for work. You've just entered the Serrated Arrow tavern, your regular job
prowling grounds." Scott looked at his notes again.

                              *****

Roscoe walked up to the bar, climbed up onto the stool as he could barely see
over it normally, and beckoned for the bartender, "Hey Bob! Got any jobs? My
fingers start twitching if I don't find something to do..."

The bartender smiled, "Nothing spectacular, but... Okay, I have this pair of
travelers, adventurers, fighters, what have you. They came in last night, one in
much worse shape than the other. I wanna do them a favor. See if you can't bring
a priest or someone here to heal her. Don't worry about the costs, I'll pay for
it." The bartender chuckled, "And when you get here, stick around, I'm sure they
want to take their anger out on a few thieves around here, and you're the best
person to show them the way."

Roscoe gave the bartender a thumbs-up, "Will do, boss!" and dashed out of the
tavern.

                               ***

Brotter walked triumphantly out of the storage room, waraxe leaned on his
shoulder. The smith grinned, "The look on your face tells me everything I need
to know. Here's a small bag of gold, and a big thanks from my heart. You can
keep the axe, too.

"Thank ye, brother. If ye ever need a fellow axe, look for me."

"I will, brother, I will." And Brotter walked out of the smith, leaving his old 
axe on the counter. He slung his new one over his back as he walked back to the
tavern. The bartender gave him a nod as he walked upstairs. After knocking, he 
entered Felosial's room to give her the good news. She was sitting in bed, 
pouring over a tome she had with her, humming as she read.

"Well, when ye're back on your feet we have some funds to keep us going."
Brotter gently tossed the bag to Felosial, who briefly glanced at it before
tossing it aside. "You're sure you don't want to ask the priests for healing?"

Felosial never looked away from the book, "No way. It's too much money just to
do something the body will do in a few days anyway."

There was knock at the door, and Brotter answered the door to meet a tall bald
man wearing only a plain cloth robe, some sandals and a pendant of a sun with a
face inscribed in it, a sign of a priest of Pelor. He smiled, took a quick
once-over of the dwarf and the room, and bowed before walking quickly to the
side of the bed where Felosial sat. A short incantation and a few gestures
later, Felosial could feel her wounds closing. The priest bowed again as
Felosial thanked him and he left. 

Brotter blinked in confusion, "Huh?"

Felosial smiled sweetly, got out of bed and stretched. She removed the bandages
around her and clean skin lay underneath. She turned toward the halfling in the
doorway, "Why hello. Were you the one responsible for this?"

The halfling smiled back. He had ruddy skin and straight black hair and
sideburns. He wore a simple tunic and pants, but a crossbow and some daggers
hung at his side. He said, "Naw, well, not really. Bob just sent me for him,
that's all. But that's not why I'm here. I'm here 'cause I heard you was
attacked by a couple of thieves out in town last night."

Felosial frowned, and Brotter blinked again, "Aye, we were. What do ye have to
do with it? And who's Bob?"

Felosial nudged her partner in the ribs, "Bob's the bartender. Didn't he
introduce himself to you?" Brotter just shook his head.

The halfling scratched the back of his head, "Well, I can tell you it wasn't the
work of the thief's guild, that's for sure. Probably some upstarts too lazy to
go through the guild. If that's the case, they're in the sewers. Need a guide?"

                              *****

"Hoo boy, another sewer crawl..." Kate moaned.

"Standard level one dungeon. Shouldn't be that long." Scott said.

"I know. But it's another stinking sewer. Can't you come up with anything
original?"

"Well, how else can you move unseen from one side of town to another?"

Kate paused before slumping back into her chair. Tony spoke up, "Okay, we'll go
along for the ride."

"Alright, you follow Roscoe out of the tavern and down a small alley off the
crowded streets. He lifts up a manhole in the alley, revealing a hole and iron
rungs on the side of a stone wall forming a ladder."

"We go down, naturally."

"As you climb down you notice a dull stench, nothing you can't ignore. Stone
walkways on either side of a flowing waterway (which is about two feet deep
and eight feet wide) seem well-used. The water flows from the north to the
south, and there are intersections about fifty feet down either way."

Josh took over after reading some of Scott's notes, putting a little nasal into
his voice, "'There are a variety of hidden rooms which thieves use for temporary
storage before usually selling it back to some random fool. Nonlethal traps also
protect the rooms, but only after getting inside. The closest one is straight
north from here, and the thieves are likely to be in any one of them, if not
more.'"

Tony nodded, "'Aye, need to check these rooms before we can catch the thieves.'"

Josh nodded, looking at the map he was given, "Okay, I start running to the
north and make a running jump across the sewer to the northern corner, since
there aren't any bridges around." Josh glanced at his char sheet and rolled a
twenty-sided die, "And clear the gap. Sweet."

Kate spoke, "Alright, I'll follow suit, but..." Kate rolled the die, "Okay,
that's plenty to get me over to the other side. Tony, on the other hand, may
have a problem, considering all the armor he has."

Tony grinned, "Naw, I'll manage." Roll. "Aw man!"

Scott didn't even look at the die, "Your beautiful running leap lands you in the
middle of the water. It is, fortunately, shallow enough that you can wade to
the other side, but you're soaking wet." All present at the table snickered,
save Tony.

Josh recovered quickest, "Well, there's one more, a hundred feet down, so I
repeat the motion..." Roll. "And land in the water just like Tony did. Oh boy. I
do so love being a halfling."

Kate smiled, "Well, I have a much better chance of clearing the gap." The die
bounced off the table. "See?"

Tony sighed, "Well, I can't get any wetter than I already have, so I'll just
wade across."

Scott chuckled and rolled a few of his own dice, "As soon as you get a few feet
further down, Ton, you notice a hidden door made out of stone. It's on your
side, so you don't have to go sewer diving any more."

Josh smiled, "I stop there, press a few stones like buttons, opening the door. I
stop my two companions from entering to peek in."

"Nothing there."

"I close the door and move on."

Tony coughed, "Wait a minute, let me have a look."

Scott smiled, "You spot a second hidden door in the back of the first."

Tony smiled, "Great! I'm going in."

Scott smiled wider, "An arrow shoots out of the wall, but bounces off your
armor."

Tony sweatdropped. Josh and Kate declared their characters were walking in, the
trap having already been sprung by Tony's character. Tony's character opened the
door, but let Josh's go first. Scott smiled, "In the second room you see the two
thieves that attacked you when you entered the city in the first place. They look
like deer caught in headlights. Small room, only fifteen by fifteen."

                              *****

"Ack! Ohshitoshitoshit weredeadweredeadweredead!" One of the thieves panicked,
backing into the corner opposite the trio. The other sweatdropped, and similarly
backed up, having a few more wits about him, drawing his dagger.

As Brotter and Roscoe drew their weapons, Felosial took the opportunity to take
her revenge, and quickly gestured, muttering what sounded like nonsense to the
common ear. She thrust her hands towards them, and a bolt of energy struck the
one who had drawn his dagger, who recoiled, hitting his head on the wall, and
fell unconscious. His partner, having realized the futility of the situation,
resigned himself to his fate and fell into unconsciousness as a second Magic
Missile hit him. Brotter and Roscoe sweatdropped as Felosial flashed a V for
victory at them, and tied up the two thieves, to take to the authorities.

                               ***

The three walked up to the guardhouse. Brotter, with his dwarven strength, was
carrying one of the thieves over his shoulder while Felosial and Roscoe held the
arms and legs of the other, respectively. A bulletin board next to the
guardhouse had pictures of bounties and their rewards. A recently posted one
held the pictures of the two whom the trio were carrying into the guardhouse.
The captain of the guard, a human wearing thick chain mail, stood as the three
entered. He quickly glanced at the two thieves they were holding, "Well well
well, what is this we have here? The notice for these two bounties just got
posted yesterday."

Felosial smiled cutely, "Oh, good. We can get some money for these two!" Brotter
only grunted under the weight of the thief.

Roscoe grinned, "Hey Vimes, how's it going? Remember me?"

Vimes grinned back at Roscoe, "Yes, I remember you, you're the little rascal who
nearly got killed, twice, because your bounty woke up before you could get them
here." Roscoe would scratch the back of his head if he wasn't holding half an
unconscious body. Vimes continued, "Well, you know where to put these two." Vimes
tossed a key to Brotter, who caught it with his free hand, the only one of the
group.

Roscoe led Felosial and Brotter down the stairs in the corner of the room.
Downstairs was a simple jail, with stone walls and maybe a total of six cells.
Brotter unlocked one, walked in, laid the body down, walked out, and locked the
door. He unlocked another jail cell door, into which Felosial and Roscoe simply
threw the new prisoner. Brotter sweatdropped as he locked the door. On the way
up, Vimes threw Roscoe a small bag of gold coins.

                              *****

Kate yawned, "Well, that was interesting, but I'm tired."

Scott nodded before yawning himself, "Yeah, let's call it a day." Scott looked
around at a general consensus, "So it's decided. Lemme dish out the experience."
Scott took each player's character sheet and wrote on it before giving it back.

Tony sighed, "Just not enough for a level. Damnit."

Kate smiled, "Well, it's no dire rats, but it'll do."

Adam moaned, "Only four wolves. four wolves! I coulda taken four dozen!"

Josh hummed, "The Happy Healing Song" and was promptly smacked by Tony.

Scott yawned again, "Okay, same time next week. 'Dam, I'll try to get some more
stuff done with you, 'kay?"

Adam nodded, then had an epiphany, "Hey, wasn't there some other people you
wanted involved in this campaign?"

Scott frowned as he gathered up the various papers he had out, "I haven't gotten
a chance to talk to them, but they seemed interested last I talked to them.
They may come in as early as next week."

Josh smiled, holding the tray he had borrowed from the library's cafe earlier,
"That's cool. More friends to make, and more adventurers to go traipsing about
the countryside with."

Kate said, "Alright, so we'll see each other next week."

And with that, the five filed out of the large room and parted ways.

--------------------
Author's notes:

Well, here it is. My entry into improsweeps, and my first real contribution to
Improfanfic. Short, but I tried to get enough to define most of the characters,
but more may be added by future authors.

I wrote this with two goals in mind: To give authors as many options as
possible, and to cover a wide variety of material so authors can have those
options. In hindsight, nine characters is probably too much.

Dungeons and Dragons belongs to Wizards of the Coast. All other references,
obscure or otherwise, belong to their owners, respectively.

"I am Galdstaff, sorcerer of light!"
"Then why'd you have to cast magic missile?"